wrong liz miller

May 07

Oh for fuck’s sake.

Oh for fuck’s sake.

Mar 06

Sounds like somebody had an exciting night.

Due to the recent events at the “Foxhole Lounge. We need to “REMIND” everyone of the VFW Post rules.

Verbal conflict and arguments will “NOT” be tolerated.
The Bartender will ask you to pay your tab and leave!

“A SECOND OCCURRENCE WILL RESULT IN YOU BEING “PERMANENTLY BARRED” FROM THE FOXHOLE LOUNGE.”

[REDACTED]
Commander

[REDACTED]
Booster President

Jan 04

Subject header: [REDACTED]’S BACHELORETTE PARTY-RESPONSE NEEDED

HI GIRLS!!

CAN’T BELIEVE [REDACTED]’S PARTY IS ONLY A MONTH AWAY!! SO EXCITED!!

Please email me and let me know if you will be attending, because I need to book reservations ASAP. Also, please tell me whether you have access to a car and want to drive. I was planning on renting a party bus ( I will pay for it), but it will only make sense to do this if people want this option. Lastly, please let me know a time that you would be able to leave Friday afternoon.

Thank you!!

FUN DETAILS TO FOLLOW…
XO

Anyone who doesn’t vote for the party bus is a fool.

Sep 29

A teacher is rightfully concerned about being murdered

As we discussed the pro’s and con’s of Honors. A few items of note if indeed there is discussion about doing away with honors courses across the board:

* In theory I can understand this. HOWEVER, from a counselor perspective with college admission, colleges want to see the strength of their academic program. Many schools specifically ask for the number of Honors and AP classes a student takes. I can’t tell you the negative feedback you would get from colleges in the admission numbers (especially Tier 1 schools), let alone backlash in the community. There would we a perception that we are downgrading our academics (when I know that in theory we would be trying to raise the standards for all, but this is not the reality). As I was being the devils advocate with you, unless we are getting rid of AP and IB, for students to be prepared for this rigor, they need the option of Honors in all core areas, INCLUDING World Languages.

* Continuing my role as devils advocate, if we have Honors Chemistry, Physics, English, Math, etc. we SHOULD have Honors World Languages and Honors Biology. It seems only fair.

* I shared with you my perspective that some students can be nudged to push themselves in subjects that they excel in. It doesn’t have to be Honors across the board. If someone is good at languages, then Honors/AP themselves this route, same for any other subject. I have some IB students that are in 3-term Algebra 1 and Honors English. GREAT!!!

Just wanted to add before I forget. See why I need to write things down J?

Take care,

[REDACTED]

Subtext: “Do you want to piss off the parents of honors students? I don’t want to piss off the parents of honors students. That’s like pissing off a rabid badger. An angry self-righteous pack of rabid badgers. Let’s not do that.”

May 11

There’s a Liz Miller who doesn’t know how to spell her email address getting married in the New England area. This is the third or fourth bridal newsletter I’ve had to unsubscribe from. UGH.

There’s a Liz Miller who doesn’t know how to spell her email address getting married in the New England area. This is the third or fourth bridal newsletter I’ve had to unsubscribe from. UGH.

May 04

I got someone else’s homework by accident

Act 3 scene 4

- you know your own degress, your ranking

- macbeth will mingle with the pepole

- the first murduer calls macbeth over

- line 15, its better that there is bnquos blood on his face than him alive

- then the murdur tells him that fleance has escaped

- macbeth says that fleance is like a baby snake, he is not a threat right now

- lady macbeth notices that macbeth is talking to a bloody man

- the ghost on banquo sits in macbeths seat

- macbeth does not see him

- macbeth wishes for banquo to be there, then he sees the ghost of banquo, but no one else does

- ross is annoyed

- macbeth does not see an empty chair

- macbeth asks which one of them had done this

- lady macbeth thinks he has seen duncan, she tells all of them to eat, then questions macbeths manhood

- she calls him a coward again, she calls him a woman

- charnel houses- morg

- then he looks back at the chair and no one is there

- what are you quite unmaned in folly- are you crazy

- I do forget, do not muse at me- do not laugh I have a weird illness

- Then he asks for wine, and the ghost enters again, and he drinks to banquo

- Then he sees the ghost again

- He tells him that the ghost is not real

- Lady macbeth trys to intervein

- He rather face three (russuan bear, a tiger and a rino) animal than look at the ghost

- He says he feels like the baby of a young girl when he looks like at the cahir

- Then the ghost dissaperared

- Then he says when hes gone, he is a man again

- He asks everyone to please stay

- As peole walk out he messing up again, and asks the people if they see the gost

- He is still not used to killing

- “blood will have blood”

- almost at the odds with the moring- its almost sunrise

- macduff has not showed up ( he also did not go to the corrination)

- he found out before because he has spys a t macduffs castles

- macduff is now going to see the witches

And now I can just skip this scene the next time I read Macbeth.

Apr 20

Proof that I do reply to every mis-addressed email.

Liz Miller was one of two people addressed on this email:

[REDACTED #1],

Attached should be the invoice #318 (already paid) except materials under MONEY OWED,

2nd Attatchment should be the new invoice #319 for the library

Thanks,
[REDACTED #2]

The invoices was for the installation of a back patio and French doors, among other work, with a total amount of about seven hundred dollars due.

I replied-all saying they had sent this to the wrong Liz Miller. I then received this response:

Whatever I expect you to pay this invoice

Thank you,
[REDACTED #1]

To which, a bit miffed, I responded:

I’m not the Liz Miller you’re looking for. For one thing, I live in Los Angeles in an apartment with no back porch or French doors.

[REDACTED #1]’s response?

Just kidding just giving my contractor a hard time, sorry for the inconvenience! Have a great weekend.

Nice enough, I guess. The only snag in his attempt at comedy — the contractor (presumably [REDACTED #2]) wasn’t included on any of his subsequent emails. But, hey, comedy is tough.

Apr 13

NOT COOL NOT COOL NOT COOL NOT COOL.

On March 11, 2011, a 9.0 magnitude earthquake struck Japan, causing mass damage to the Tohoku region—including a devastating tsunami and damage to the Daiichi Power Plant in Fukushima. Our thoughts and prayers continue to go out to everyone in Japan, as well as friends and families overseas who have been impacted. In order to reach out and help, our agency is in the process of collecting donations for the earthquake relief. Unfortunately, We are unable to process the many donations that are coming in in a timely manor. In order to facilitate our work, we are searching for individuals to employ to help us process the donations.

YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES?
1. Collection of our payments(Checks) from donors
2. Depositing and cashing the check at your financial Institution
3. Your wages is ten percent of the payment processed
4. The remaining balance is for the Company

Show your interest below:
Full Name:
Street Address:
City:
State:
Zip:
USA
Cell:
E-mail address:
Age:
Present working Status:

CLICK REPLY IF YOU ARE INTERESTED

Okay, there’s nothing to indicate that there is another Liz Miller out there who was the intended recipient of this email — it could very well be spam. But let’s all agree that there is NO ONE who should receive this email — NO ONE should be asked if they want to be involved in a scam taking advantage of the worst nuclear disaster since Chernobyl.

So gross. So bad for humanity, and so very gross.

Apr 06

I’m kind of at a loss with this one.

Dear Class Member,

Thank you for signing up for the LifeStudy Class: “So You Think You Are Married.” I am truly looking forward to our time together over these next six weeks.

Here is the basic info regarding our class:

So you think you are married
Tuesday evenings from March 29 through May 4, 2011
7:00 PM - 8:30 PM
Auditorium
[REDACTED]

The focus of the class is to get you and your spouse the path towards a vibrant, God-honoring marriage. We will be using your Bible, your Arno Profile, and the book entitled So You Think You Are Married … Ten Tips On How To Live Like It. Due to a mix up with the publisher the books may not be in by the first class. With the tremendous response to the class being what it is I am not surprised that there are some acts to prevent God’s blessings from happening, but we press on.

The classes will be a combination of lecture, multi-media, and break-out sessions. The main focus is to challenge each of us to allow ourselves new ways to think and behave in our marriages. We will grow together in creating marriages that are beyond mediocre.

To that end, here’s what we can all do to help make this experience as fruitful and productive as possible.

1) Please arrive on time. The class begins at 7 PM sharp. By 7 PM please be in your seat and ready to start. I realize that we all have busy schedules and there may be times when you will show up late - that’s fine. Just slip in and grab a seat. At the same time, for those of who arrive on time, let’s start on time. My commitment back to you is to end on time at 8:30 PM. We will take a brief break during each class.

2) Bring a Bible and a pen along with your Arno Profile. We will supply you with a binder that has outline information and a place to make notes.

3) Be committed to the possibility of change. What makes this class work best is when we all anticipate some life changing opportunities.

4) Help me help you. This class is for you! If something isn’t working, isn’t clear or is missing, let me know!

5) Pray. Let’s all arrive knowing our time has been drenched in prayer. That we have called upon the Holy Spirit to make this time His time with us. So please, as a couple pray for me, pray for our classmates and pray for your own growth. We can’t have too much prayer.

Until then, should you need any more information, please contact [REDACTED]

See you on the 29th!

Be blessed and know it,
[REDACTED]

I really don’t know what to say about this one, especially when it comes to the concept. “So You Think You Are Married…Ten Tips On How To Live Like It”? I don’t know what ten tips these might be. From what I understand about marriage, it’s a pretty simple process:

Step one: Get married.
Step two: Live together
Step three: Don’t be a dick.

I’m not married or God-fearing, though. So I’ll just chalk this up as something beyond my ken.

Mar 30

I got confused by this one because I received it during SXSW…

…while at one of the evening soirees. So not only did the very first line quasi-apply to me at that time, but I might have been a little intoxicated, and thus there was a serious moment of “oh, crap.”

Hi Liz! I hope traveling is going well. Here is a list of the questions that will be asked on Wednesday night:

1. your name, names and ages of kids
2. what country and/or group are you from?
3. what is the main holiday that you celebrate that is different from the mainstream american holidays? and how do you celebrate it?
4. what do moms from your culture like to do with their children? crafts, games or activities?
5. what is one difference between your culture and the american culture?
6. what is one similarity?

The snack you bring will only need to be a small one-bite “taste” of your culture for the other moms to pass around during the meeting. There are usually 20-30 moms there.

I am so excited that you will be there!

[Redacted]

My exact thought process was as follows: “What small one-bite ‘taste’ would represent my culture? (Grilled cheese on white bread?) Where am I going to get 20-30 small bites to represent a taste of my ‘culture’?

“And oh, um, I’m going to need multiple kids.”